Another great language to consider on that subject matter are countries where English is the official language—there's a dramatic difference in the language spoken in America as we know than in England for example.

Those who reside in Europe use totally different words and meanings that in some cases, especially many years ago, an American trying to speak with an Englander was nearly impossible. I know this first hand from talking with a relative as a child in my age group on the phone across the seas—we often would just giggle, until our parents had enough of wasting costly airtime. To us it was fun, not knowing what the other could possibly be talking about.

It can be very serious on another hand, the differences of dialect and how words live when spoken from one person to another from foreign lands. I remember many years ago, a young boy from England was escorted off a school grounds, parents and officials contacted because the teacher was concerned with his use of the words “rubber.” Yes, rubber. Now depending on your generation—or during the era you maybe reading this post—you may or may not know that the word rubber was often used in reference to condoms.

In the case of this elementary student born in England, rubber meant eraser. Yes, the little—for the most part—pink thingy on a pencil. Didn’t I mention it was in art class he would make use of his rubber in an art class? I will admit, I looked for the story—it’s more than a decade—but could not find it. Please feel free that if you do, post a link for other readers.

Nevertheless, below is an example how that might look or sound cleverly created by a Tik Tok creator. Interestingly, it ties into how the lack of communication can quickly get out of hand—also showing how conflict inheritance can stem from how we communicate when not giving ourselves permission of deeper inquiry about a subject matter or even task.

Communication is key, almost everyone has heard the phrase When you speak or hear that phrase, what does it mean for or to you?

Let’s break it down psychologically, socially and even scientifically for a moment. First and foremost, it is a bridge to understanding. Experts describe it as “ancient technology”. It’s designed to align brains in ways that allows individuals to get on the same page. It’s comprehension versus talking where of course, it only matters if active listen is part of the exchange—a huge, “key.” If not perform with conscientious effort, assumptions and biases can often become part of the key equation leading to unnecessary conflict. Effective communication is a primary tool for resolving disagreements in a non-judgmental manner.

Another key factor of communication is vulnerability and trust—truth is, with or without either, relationships can be talked into or talked out of existence—when communication fails. In professional or organizational successes—it is a skill that is considered the backbone of operations, and for personal growth, its non-verbal elements such as body language must stay consistent with how one’s words live when spoken. It can also mean the very difference of whether a personal and professional relationship is successful.

These are many elements of being effected by inherited meaning and conflict inheritance that can make for work life harmony or lack thereof. The way we communication is based in relationship codes. These codes include—for the most part—are based on social, emotional and physical design of what it means to be human; especially male or female. Adding to these codes are the direct community one has flourished within—the community of family. Here is where conflict inheritance lives and thrives.

Our family dynamics are key to communication for when we enter environments and relationships—personally and professionally. Depending on our expectations of how the world and our experiences within it is suppose to be, is ideally dependent on values taught and even the conversations we hear from early in childhood. From what we think, how we act or speak—to what we wear—we greet what we meet is first influenced by our family upbringing.

This may be an overstatement for some. It may seem obvious. But what often is not discussed or taken into consideration that it is not the wellness care of family dynamics that empowers us as much as being empowered by learning to ditch the scripts that do not serve us. It can be a matter of giving oneself permission to accept—for example—what we consider in our lives to be trauma experienced within a family unit that we determined has stunted emotional, social or psychological growth as a a means of post traumatic growth.

In other words, learn to use this conflict as a learning for what we already know is not working—decide, it’s not who I want to be or what I want as an experience of in life. Learn to flip the running script as not something that happened to me, but for me. This may sound easy or even vague, but ask yourself, “Which serves you better, stuck in a loop or busting out of the circle?” If there a moments of feeling, “it isn’t—or wasn’t fair,” then what is?

Conflict Inheritance shows up in various ways. From attitudes about a people, to what we think we deserve as our place in society without any effort, to simply feeling worthless because we ‘think’ we do not stand up to the expectations of a family unit.